So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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