Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
