I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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