at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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