so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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