I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
