he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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