He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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