were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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