I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
