Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
