Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
