And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
