I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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