my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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