my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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