Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
