he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
