i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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