i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Two words: blizzard sex
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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