You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
