there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
