I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Randomize
