Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
