It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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