Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
