u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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