How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
