you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I see more hoeing in ur future
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
