remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
