i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
