While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
