Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just had sex on a roof
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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