You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
