there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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