I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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