I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
