Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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