I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
