in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
