Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
