3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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