I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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