i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
