Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
