Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
