Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
