So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize