yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
