i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
