She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
