Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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