I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so let's talk penis.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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