Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My penis needs a shock collar
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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