Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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