He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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