The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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