Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
