I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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