Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
