I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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