she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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